Editorial Page
Sports Broadcasting Cheapened
By Gridiron Goose
Jun 26, 2006, 22:14

Like the annual state fair, television sports coverage has become a potpourri of over-sensationalized, cheap entertainment that leaves you with a bad case of the runs.

When sports companies began broadcasting X Games several years ago, I wondered what Einstein came up with that idea? Since when did riding skateboards become a sport? What is so compelling about seeing some over-aged teenager sliding up and down a u-shaped ramp? Since when did riding bicycles become a sport? I can understand World class cycling like the Tour De France. Sitting on those tiny seats and zipping around turns at 45 miles an hour with no brakes is tough, not to mention rough on the old buttocks. But, trail bicycling? I don’t think so. I can find a lot of more enjoyable and safer things to do than risking life and limb, trying to keep from freefalling down the edge of a rocky cliff while perched on a Schwinn. Children ride skateboards. Grannies ride bicycles. Just because these 20 and 30 year olds are too lazy to get a real job doesn’t make their little hobbies a legitimate sport.

Flip on the boob-tube and just about every channel has poker in its prime time lineup. You know, it takes a poor sap to sit and watch this stuff. What intelligent person would occupy their time on this nonsense? I can’t believe some of these so-called card sharks have been propelled to star status. Is there a lesson to be learned by watching these sunglass-donning, straight faced Billy the Kid wannabes trying to outwit one another? If you’re one of them, go ahead with your bad self. While you’re doing that, I’ll continue my quest for the true meaning of life.

Of course we can’t forget fishing. Where would we be if we couldn’t watch a buncha beer-bellied, over-zealous slackers out in the middle of some lake, vying for that perfect catch? Some of you will disagree, which is cool. But, I just don’t consider fishing as a sport. What’s the big deal? Stick a worm on a hook, toss it in the drink and see what happens. Oh, but life just wouldn’t be the same if it wasn’t televised. Maybe, just maybe that wouldn’t such a bad thing.

The same can be said about hunting. It isn’t a sport. It’s gathering dinner. No one can convince me otherwise. Another note: If a person kills a creature of God as a trophy and doesn’t eat it is a murderer- period.

I guess what finally put me over the edge was when I recently saw domino competition on ESPN. Like poker, dominos requires a little luck, even less intelligence and absolutely no athleticism. When I think of domino players, I envision old, over-weight, cigar sucking, Castro bashers huddled around a table at a local South Florida coffee shop. And you mean to tell me this is a sport?

Skateboarding is not a sport. Football is. Trail biking is not a sport. Baseball is. Poker is not a sport. Boxing is. Fishing is not a sport. Basketball is. Hunting is not a sport. Soccer is. As little as I respect golf, I certainly consider it more of a sport than dominos ever can or will be. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what NASCAR is. I think I’d take more interest in it if the track was a figure 8, rather than going counterclockwise in a circle over and over again. Yet, even then, with the stamina involved, to some measure I do consider car racing a sport.

What’s next? Which “game” will these major conglomerates try next to pass as a sport? How about raking leaves or maybe brushing teeth? I can hear the commentators now: Frank, our champion is showing terrific form on his molars.

Word to all of you sports broadcasting companies: Stop it! Wake up! For crying out loud, get back to the basics. You’re limiting yourselves with a limited audience and making yourselves look like a bunch of buffoons in the process. There’s a major difference between penny-Annie games and major sports. Until you realize which is what, you’re doing yourselves and sports fans an injustice.

The Gridiron Goose is an official NFL media member of the Baltimore Ravens, Miami Dolphins, and the U.S. Department of Defense. He is President and founder of the Gridiron Goose's NFL Update, broadcast exclusively on ESPN Radio 950AM (Richmond, VA). He may be reached at GridironGoose@msn.com

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