2005 "Sally" Awards

[shageman]

In this thread, I'll compile those personnel moves that make you smile, as well as the ones that make you yell the expletives fine... The "Attah-Boy" Award goes to the team owner that wisely started the high point scorer for the week. The "YU-SUX" Award goes to the team owner that mistakenly started the crappiest possible player. The "Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda" Award goes to the team owner that erroneously left this player OFF his starting roster.

And now for the start of the 2005 "Sally" Awards:

WEEK 1:

"Attah-Boy": Slap Happy Monkeys - QB Mark Bulger (STL) 52 pts

"YU-SUX": The Fuzz - PK Matt Stover (BAL) -13 pts

"Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda": Slap Happy Monkeys - CB Anthony Henry (DAL) 63 pts

WEEK 2

"Attah-Boy": Laser Jocks - QB Donovan McNabb (PHI) 61 pts

"YU-SUX": BattleStar Gramatica - PK Olindo Mare (MIA) -3 pts

"Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda": $ophomore $tripes - CB Deltha O'neal (CIN) 68 pts

WEEK 3

"Attah-Boy": CS Panthers - RB Ladanian Tomlinson (SD) 61 pts

"YU-SUX": St.Louis 58 - PK Doug Brien (CHI) -4 pts

"Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda": BattleStar Grammatica - QB Eli Manning (NYG) 55 pts

WEEK 4

"Attah-Boy": Laser Jocks II - QB Donovan McNabb (PHI) 59 pts

"YU-SUX": CS Panthers - TE Marcus Pollard (DET) -2 pts

"Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda": C4 - QB Josh McCown (ARZ) 58 pts

WEEK 5

"Attah-Boy": Legend - OLB Keith Bullock (TEN) 54 pts

"YU-SUX": Rabid Pats - QB Alex Smith (SF) -23 pts

"Shoulda-Coulda-Woulda": St. Louis 58 - QB Matt Schaub (ATL) 49 pts

WEEK 6

"Attah-Boy": BattleStar Gramatica - DE Jared Allen (KC) 74 pts

"YU-SUX": WMD - PK John Kasay (CAR) -8 pts

WEEK 7

"Attah-Boy": STEELERS - OLB Karlos Dansby (ARZ) 49 pts

"YU-SUX": Myrmidon - QB Trent Dilfer (CLE) -8 pts

WEEK 8

"Attah-Boy": NU-Look Giants - QB Jake Plummer (DEN) 60 pts

"YU-SUX": Myrmidon - PK Josh Scobee (JAX) -6 pts
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Attah-Boy YU-SUX S.C.W.
------------- --------- ----------

Slap Happy Monkeys.....................1................0.... .........1
Laser Jocks II...............................2................ 0.............1
NU-Look Giants.............................1.............. ..0.............0
BattleStar Gramatica.....................1................1.. ...........1

Rabid Pats.....................................0........ ........1.............0
WMD.............................................0. ...............1.............0
The Fuzz........................................0..... ...........1.............0
St. Louis 58....................................0........... .....1.............1

Sophomore Stripes........................0................0. ............1
STEELERS......................................1... .............0.............0
Pennsylvania Pride.........................0................0.. ...........0
Legend...........................................1 ................0.............0

C4................................................ ..0................0.............1
Mymidon.........................................0. ...............2.............0
CS Panthers....................................1..... ...........1.............0
Feel the Rush..................................0........... .....0.............0

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

out-

C4

[shageman]

Bulger was prob a no-brainer... He should have a good year. Stover let down many a fan this past w/e; what was he thinking on Sunday night?! And finally Anthony Henry... Who? That's what I thought. If I see him on Monkeys starting roster in week 2 I'll laugh.

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C4

[shageman]

I see a trend forming already... QBs, PKs & CBs and the fact that "even-Steven" hasn't been awarded anything. As long as I'm awarded the season-ending prize money, I'll be a happy camper.

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C4
shageman

[easybpw]

Love the commentary! Keep up the good work! Great read!

Bill

[shageman]

NY Jet perspective on the week 3 awards: Seeing Dougie Brien in negative points makes no one more happy than a Jet fan. That guy seriously pissed us off in last years playoffs. Spicer's ass-whoopin' of Jet OL was waaaaay unneccesary!! He won't score more than 11 pts the rest of the year prob. Dickhead.

Good luck in week 4 y'all,

C4

[Legend]

I noticed I got a SCW award for Paul Spicer.

NIce to get an award for something but I don't deserve it. :)

I didn't pick up Spicer till the 26th the day after the week 3 games.

Might have been because of the 60 points he scored week 3 :)

[shageman]

Legend,

Thanks for being honest. These awards are more an art and less a science. Let this be a notice that I have to then retract the award from Legend, and thus award it to the owner of Eli Manning (BattleStar Grammatica) for scoring a busty 55 points on the bench in week 3. A lesser man than yourself would have taken this award and ran with it!!

Mia copa, it shall NEVER happen again.

C4

[ChristPuncher]

I'll take the award and run with it. I seem to be stacking these things up this year. I think this is my 2nd, and neither are attah-boy awards.

[Stripes4Life]

I know this weeks awards haven't been handed out yet, but I've gotta give myself an "Attah-Boy" award for my starting WR's this week. 128 combined points between the 3 of them. That's gotta be a record; that's craaaaazzzzy! They carried my ass to a perfect 5-0 record and I want to give them their props.

[shageman]

To make it crystal clear, these awards cannot be handed out willy-nilly, they must be earned STRIPES!!

Therefore, McNabb once again "nabs" an award for Jocks, his second. I SO wanted to give this award to a kicker (Rackers w/ 56 pts) but that #ss of a QB McNabb stole it from him. Bully.

Marcus Pollard must be kicking himself right now for ever leaving Indy. Won't it be ironic that Pollard leaves Indy for Detroit... Detroithosts the Super Bowl... Detroit Lions will be home for that, possibly watching... Indy in the SB playing in Detroit. Well done Marcus!

Speaking of Indy, it was P. Manning who allowed me, C4,to get a SCW award w/ McCown. Better keep it up Peyton, you've now got competition! The SCW almost went to BattleStar again, but with a diff QB. As he wisely started 'lil Eli and his 53 pts, Favre posted a not-to-shabby 51 pts riding the pines.

out

C4

[shageman]

I haven't posted all 3 awards yet for week 5, but I want to draw everyone's attention asap to Rabid Pats. The poor guy had to suffer through a week of starting the rook Alex Smith of SF this week. I'll make it a personal challenge to all this year to try and do worse than his -23 points!! Sorry Rabid Pats for those darn bye weeks, hehehehehe... (FYI- My boy the Nuge in NY sallied-up with -8 pts... keep missing those FGs dickhead.)

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C4

[shageman]

I thought I was eyeing up my 2nd consecutive SCW award by McCown again, but alas, his 48 pts on the bench was only surpassed by Matt "shotgun" Schaub of Atlanta. How could St. Louie not start this cat?! He's only the pride of UVA! I wish Manning would get hurt so I can start McCown. Ididn'tjustsaythat,nope,didn't,Peyton,stayhealthyb uddy,luvya!

I'm still laughing about QB Alex Smith... heh!

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C4

[shageman]

74 points out of Jared Allen in week 6 pretty much puts the kybosh on BattleStar trading me that guy huh! Well done whitey... A kicker once again is the stinker... Are those guys good at anything?

out-

C4

[shageman]

In week 7, we saw QB Dilfer up to his old tricks of thinking he's a ball player... 3interceptions later, he's our YUSUX award winner. Dansby led a mediocre scoring week for everybody w/ just 49.

Individual team roster pages take too damn long to load all the time (then waiting for the "detailed" screen to load) so the shoulda-coulda-woulda's are taking a backseat until I gain more patience.

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C4

[shageman]

Week 8 showcased some nice individual scores, especially by kickers (Nedney & Feely... What? No Rackers this week?) But they couldn't out do "the snake" in Denver. We had 7 players post negatives, 4 of which were Redskins (Rabach, Samuels, Cooley & Moss) but when you gets lamb-basted like they did, I guess only 4 isn't too bad.

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C4